I just realized last night talking to my husband that I've actually "accomplished" many of my childhood dreams from the silliest to the profound. I earned 2 degrees, I worked in one of the industry that I wanted to work in, I worked in the part of town that I wanted to work in, I drive the types of cars that I always wanted to drive, I started a business, I left the country, I have a little brown dog, I've had my name in the credits, and if I sit here and think for longer I'd probably think of 20 more things that I could add to this list. With all of that I don't even know.
I don't do as much as I used to do in general because I don't want to...I guess. Maybe I'm tired. I made a timeline of my history that includes volunteer work, paid work, and school that proves I actually had a clone because I had no car for most of that time. With all that I accomplished and participated in my life doesn't look the way that I expected it to look and maybe it's because I was doing so much. I don't know what my focus was...what my reason was. I always wanted to help and create so that's what I did...that's what I do just not as much as I use to.
At this moment I'm interrupting myself from creating schedule that divides my "work" time between fitness and media production because those are my industries and I don't do a good job of managing my time. Since I'm my own boss I will pretty much agree to anything without thinking about time management...before I've even negotiated a fee in many cases (which is bad), fortunately the people I've worked with lately have integrity so I haven't been cheated out of anything.
I don't even know.
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