I Don't Even Know

I just realized last night talking to my husband that I've actually "accomplished" many of my childhood dreams from the silliest to the profound. I earned 2 degrees, I worked in one of the industry that I wanted to work in, I worked in the part of town that I wanted to work in, I drive the types of cars that I always wanted to drive, I started a business, I left the country, I have a little brown dog, I've had my name in the credits, and if I sit here and think for longer I'd probably think of 20 more things that I could add to this list. With all of that I don't even know.

I don't do as much as I used to do in general because I don't want to...I guess. Maybe I'm tired. I made a timeline of my history that includes volunteer work, paid work, and school that proves I actually had a clone because I had no car for most of that time. With all that I accomplished and participated in my life doesn't look the way that I expected it to look and maybe it's because I was doing so much. I don't know what my focus was...what my reason was. I always wanted to help and create so that's what I did...that's what I do just not as much as I use to.

At this moment I'm interrupting myself from creating schedule that divides my "work" time between fitness and media production because those are my industries and I don't do a good job of managing my time. Since I'm my own boss I will pretty much agree to anything without thinking about time management...before I've even negotiated a fee in  many cases (which is bad), fortunately the people I've worked with lately have integrity so I haven't been cheated out of anything.

I don't even know.

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#IDontEvenKnow

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude, don't complain.
Maya Angelou

Vision without action is a daydream.
Action without vision is a nightmare.
(which one is worse?)

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TheJRochelle about.me/jeanicia.elder

The Place of No Return

Bishop TD Jakes @ Lakewood Church

Then cometh Jesus with them unto a place called Gethsemane, and saith unto the disciples, Sit ye here, while I go and pray yonder.  And he took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be sorrowful and very heavy.  Then saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me.  And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.  And he cometh unto the disciples, and findeth them asleep, and saith unto Peter, What, could ye not watch with me one hour?   Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.  He went away again the second time, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done.  And he came and found them asleep again: for their eyes were heavy.  And he left them, and went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words.  Then cometh he to his disciples, and saith unto them, Sleep on now, and take your rest: behold, the hour is at hand, and the Son of man is betrayed into the hands of sinners.   Rise, let us be going: behold, he is at hand that doth betray me.  And while he yet spake, lo, Judas, one of the twelve, came, and with him a great multitude with swords and staves, from the chief priests and elders of the people.

Matthew 26:36‭-‬47 KJV

Gethsemane was beautiful but people bring and undercurrent of pressure.

Gethsemane appears in the Greek original of the Gospel of Matthew^[1] and the Gospel of Mark^[2] as Γεθσημανή (Gethsēmanē). The name is derived from the Aramaic ܓܕܣܡܢ (Gaḏ-Šmānê), meaning "oil press".^[3] Matthew (26:36) and Mark (14:32) call it χωρἰον (18:1), meaning a place or estate. The Gospel of John says Jesus entered a garden (κῆπος) with his disciples.^[4]

A fish and a bird could fall in love but where would they live? This is the conundrum of our relationship with the Lord.

What happens in private determines the power of what happens in public. If Calvary is the light that changed the world then Gethsemane is the light switch.

The disciples were under a lot of pressure.

And as they did eat, he said, Verily I say unto you, that one of you shall betray me.  And they were exceeding sorrowful, and began every one of them to say unto him, Lord, is it I?

Matthew 26:21‭-‬22 KJV

The garden is where the problem started (Genesis 3).

Therefore the Lord God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.  So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.

Genesis 3:23‭-‬24 KJV

Sometimes in order to advance you have to be lonely. Don't stop where others have stopped.

Jesus was in the right place struggling to get in alignment with the will of God.

Disappointed evolves out of what you had in mind. (Not my will) Jesus is praying to get over what he had in mind. 

Everything in life is on hold because we're worshipping what we had in mind.  We're asking God if there is any way that we can win if we do it our own way. But Jesus broke the curse with a decision and that's what we need to do. (Then Jesus left them a second time and prayed, "My Father! If this cup cannot be taken away unless I drink it, your will be done." Matthew 26:42 NLT But Jesus prayed this one more time)

The most powerful tool you have is a decision.

A bad decision in the garden messed everything up so it's going to take a good decision in the same place to turn things around.

You are one goid decision away from turning everything around.

Some people will sleep on you but you have to go a little further.

Then he came to the disciples and said, "Go ahead and sleep. Have your rest. But look—the time has come. The Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners.  Up, let's be going. Look, my betrayer is here!"

Matthew 26:45‭-‬46 NLT

Light was made from oil. The Lord says He will not crush you without bringing you out shining.

Blessed Out Of Season

Pastor Joel @ Lakewood Church

Sometimes circumstances will say that it isn't our season but God doesn't wait for all of the conditions to line up...He isn't on a "normal" timetable.

It's important to be faithful but be careful not to endure without expecting.

Sarah gave birth to a son passed the normal age.

David was a teenage shepherd annointed as the next king.

But Moses responded to the Lord , "There are 600,000 foot soldiers here with me, and yet you say, 'I will give them meat for a whole month!' Even if we butchered all our flocks and herds, would that satisfy them? Even if we caught all the fish in the sea, would that be enough?"
Numbers 11:21‭-‬22 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/num.11.21-22.NLT

Moses was looking at things practically in response to God's promise.

Then the Lord said to Moses, "Has my arm lost its power? Now you will see whether or not my word comes true!"
Numbers 11:23 NLT

So the people went out and caught quail all that day and throughout the night and all the next day, too. No one gathered less than fifty bushels ! They spread the quail all around the camp to dry.
Numbers 11:32 NLT

Quail don't usually fly so far away from the sea but God controls the wind.

For an angel went down at a certain season into the pool, and troubled the water: whosoever then first after the troubling of the water stepped in was made whole of whatsoever disease he had.
John 5:4 KJV

Jesus healed him in a way that he wasn't expecting. He didn't have to wait for the angel or find someone to help him into the pool. It was also the Sabbath.

God will make rivers in the desert.

Just because you don't feel favored doesn't mean that you're not favored.

Pastor Joel was living a country western song and in the middle of that he received a lucrative media deal.

Mrs. Dodie received a terminal prognosis.

When you speak negative words they get into your spirit.

Don't put God in a box. God isn't waiting on "the angel" to stir anything. God might be planning to use people and means that you never imagined.

Peter was a seasoned fisherman so it would have been understandable for him to disregard the advice of a carpenter.

Now when he had left speaking, he said unto Simon, Launch out into the deep, and let down your nets for a draught.  And Simon answering said unto him, Master, we have toiled all the night, and have taken nothing: nevertheless at thy word I will let down the net.  And when they had this done, they enclosed a great multitude of fishes: and their net brake.
Luke 5:4‭-‬6 KJV

For he was astonished, and all that were with him, at the draught of the fishes which they had taken:
Luke 5:9 KJV

Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.
2 Timothy 4:2 KJV

Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching.
2 Timothy 4:2

Victoria Osteen @ Lakewood Church

God Always STARTS Small

God does things with seeds that multiply so when you put small things in God's hands he can do big things.

Learn to handle the small first.

And when it was evening, his disciples came to him, saying, This is a desert place, and the time is now past; send the multitude away, that they may go into the villages, and buy themselves victuals.  But Jesus said unto them, They need not depart; give ye them to eat.  And they say unto him, We have here but five loaves, and two fishes.  He said, Bring them hither to me.  And he commanded the multitude to sit down on the grass, and took the five loaves, and the two fishes, and looking up to heaven, he blessed, and brake, and gave the loaves to his disciples, and the disciples to the multitude.  And they did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the fragments that remained twelve baskets full.
Matthew 14:15‭-‬20 KJV

What the disciples thought they couldn't handle a big task with such little resources. But God blessed it and they had leftovers.

Don't overlook the small things because ALL things matter to God.

Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes.
Song of Solomon 2:15 KJV

Even negative things (bitterness, envy, etc...) can go big if we don't give them to God.

We'll never get rid of the small stuff and when we handle that, He will increase our capacity.

I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase.  So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase.  Now he that planteth and he that watereth are one: and every man shall receive his own reward according to his own labour.
1 Corinthians 3:6‭-‬8 KJV

Even the largest tree started from a seed.